I've been busy this few weeks, actually for the past entire month.

Tuition, Freelance, Internship... I managed to scheduled them in my LOVE SCHEDULER. Lots of things happened during those times and in the end, I was so depressed and lost that I lost all my confidence and will in life. I didn't thought of suicide though so it's not as bad as you thought. However, the feeling wasn't any better. Adding the pressure from my parents and different options from my peers and friends, I became desperate. I need a solution but dont know which one is the right one.

A phrase my friend likes. And it's really true. That's why I don't wanna waste my life. I wanted to choose something I wont regret.

As I procrastinate, I was offered to work full time. And I agreed.

And along the way, I realized that that was my plan all the while. I was fully aware of the low pay but he hired me without seeing my portfolio. I'm not an excellent designer and my skills are not even up to standard yet but he's willing to teach me everything he knows. Such an opportunity, seriously... in what position do I have the right to complain.

So I've decided. I will do my best in this company and hopefully grow with it. And to compensate the low pay, I can get some tuition to teach or some freelance/ part-time jobs.

Yes, I know its gonna be tough. But I know it's gonna be worth it.

I have an abnormally low self-esteem. So if there are times( definitely will be) when I lost my way along the lines, remind me that no success comes without hardships. And I will stand up and walk again.

Yup. That's what I've decided. Even if there are people who will disagree with my ways, I'm still gonna do it. Most likely I wont talk to you anymore. I don't need someone that is not supportive to bring me down. So for the time being, I'm sorry but stay away from me.

Sound harsh right. But then, I cannot take the risk. Cos I doubt myself more than anyone else. So to bring me down is like snapping one's fingers.

GODDDD.... I NEED STRENGTH! LOTS OF THEM PLEASE.

May I succeed. All the best to everyone out there too. Yes we can if we believe. :)

-this time, I'm in control.